(Today's post comes with a little musical inspiration.)
In our practice, as we explore and inhabit the remote places within ourselves, things happen. Sensations bloom in areas that were previously numb, quiet, or completely off our awareness. We begin to experience a host of sensations - no longer are pain, pleasure, tension and ease adequate descriptors for our physical experience. We may need to find or create new words for our experience, as we discover that there are numerous distinct sensations that we used to label "tightness" or "pain" which aren't either - they are far more complex and interesting. Our experience of BEing in these bodies becomes richer, more complex, and far more interesting.
And as we increase the sensitivity of our awareness while continuing to plumb the depths of our physical tensions, we will have experiences that show us those physical tensions were not only physical. It may happen that in the moment of a physical release, we have a memory of a past experience arise in the mind, or a revival of an emotional state that we experienced in the past. It may happen that either of these things comes up in the moments, hours and days after our practice. It can take us by surprise, and it can be pleasant or disconcerting.
Because what's coming up relates to past relationships, past events and past experiences, our emotional responses in the present can feel out of place and confusing. A beautiful and important moment of our practice has arrived - it has brought us right into the process of clearing old wounds. We are in the process of releasing that which has held us back, that which has caused us pain, and that which has kept us from feeling our lives with fully awakened hearts. How we respond here matters, as judgment or denial (of ourselves or this process) can create new wounds. Allowing the process while holding ourselves with care and understanding will bring us into new ways of being. And while it can feel a little scary on this side of release, once we've allowed it we invariably emerge lighter, wiser, more responsive to ourselves and others, less affected by chronic tensions and more capable of feeling really good in our bodies. We can do it.
We can hold ourselves lightly and with gentleness.
We can let it happen.
And we can let it go.
Breathe deeply, practice often, be well.
Dana Wyss Healing Arts